Whole Earth

Pictured: Cousin Rachel with our organic friend on a recent trip to Oxford.

“You have to do Whole Earth, I promise it’s the best” – Hannah, 14/06/14

“This @worldofpb something else to fuel my obsession. My vote has to go to whole earth crunchy.” – @LBehrG, via Twitter, 13/06/14

This is the best thing ever Henry, Peanut butter is also my favourite food!! I’d recommend whole earth organic if you haven’t tried it already (couldn’t see it on your blog) – Tom, via Facebook, 25/05/14

Okay. Here it is due to popular demand. 

 

Jar open, let’s go. It’s bigger than the usual (454g) and full to the brim, which certainly makes me begin the review with a smile. 

It’s tough to spread, with the steely resolve of a country farmer. I feel like I’ve come to stay, as a traveller 100 years ago coming in from the rain to the only house for miles around. 

The rain pours, thunder rumbles and lightning shows me the way up the winding path to the door.

“Come in make yourself at home” my host greets me without eye contact and shuffles back toward to kitchen. I step over the threshold, confused, into a candlelit house not much warmer than outside, and take my boots off. I listen for signs of my host, and wander through the nearest door to a small dining room.

“Sit down dear” says the kindly farmer’s wife in her warm West Country drawl. Already laid out for me on the table is a warm muffin with this organic spread. But…. How did they know I was coming? I didn’t call ahead. They don’t even have a phone! It is 1914 after all…

I take a seat where she gestures, and a metal flagon of water is pushed towards me. 

The PB is practical, and made for purpose. “Plenty of protein in that for a young lad like you” she says, still without looking up from her own slice. 

“Makes it ‘erself”, her husband adds. 

I open my mouth to speak, but it’s so dry and stuck together I can’t form a word. “Peanut spread, she calls it”, he adds.

Well-named, I think. There’s no hint of butteriness here like in many of my PB friends from the future. The flavour is really quite mild, the peanut shells adding a wholesome element, but certainly not strong enough to distract me from this strange house.

I look around the kitchen. The table holds 4 jars of this stuff, and apart from bread…. There’s nothing else. Over on the counter it’s the same…. More jars of ‘peanut spread’ with a few loaves scattered. Is this all they have?

A cupboard door leans ajar and I can see the contents are the same…. Where am I? I should leave.

“Thank you, both, but I must retire.” I make to stand up as I take my last bite.

“I’ve to leave early in the morning and continue my travels to London. It’s another few days walking”.

“Oh you always say that, Henry” the farmer’s wife sing-songs.

“What?? How do you know my name? I’ve never been here before!”

“What are you talking about, boy?”

They both look up from their plates of PB and toast. 

“You’ve always been here”

WHAT?!

I wake with a start in my own bed. It was all a dream. What a relief….

And then I spot a jar of Whole Earth on my desk. My mouth taste of peanut shells. I’m not hungry. 

.

Salty/sweet scale –  2

Texture: Dry, Rustic, Wholesome

9/10 Henrys

£3.19 for a 454g jar from Morissons (£0.70 per 100g) or £3.35 (£0.74 per 100g) from Tesco. Other stores may vary.